My Very First Posted Feminist Rant

I'm furious right now. At men. And stupid women who continually miss the point of EVERYTHING. Which is never a good place to be because then everyone assumes that I'm an angry combat-boot-wearing-man-hating-lesbian feminist. I am none of those things except a feminist. 

BEFORE YOU JUMP ON MY SHIT, you should probably know the actual definition of a feminist. A feminist is a person who supports feminism. Feminism is simply "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes" (thanks Webster dictionary online). Feminists want women to have equal rights as men. Feminists are not, by definition, men-hating. Or lesbians. Or even women. A feminist is anyone who supports that women and men should have equal rights. Honestly, I still laugh at really sexist jokes about the kitchen and things like that. The important thing is that you realize they are jokes and you never actually demand a woman stay in the kitchen to make sandwiches. So if you're not a member of the Republican party, you are probably by definition a feminist (that was a joke; there are a lot of idiots outside of the Republican party). 

Try explaining that one to your father.

Alright, why am I furious? 

The comments following this article on HelloGiggles.com. The article is called "Why Being Called Pretty Sometimes Gets Ugly" and I completely agree with what the author, Mary Traina, is trying to say. Take a time-out and go read it. Now.

For those of you that didn't actually listen to me and read the article, Traina is essentially saying that being called "pretty" is sometimes a hard compliment to take because we're being complimented on something that is, for the most part, completely out of our control. A compliment of something that will fade over time, something that our genes define, something that we can't change without getting our face sliced open on an operating table. She notes that there is a time and place where that compliment is okay, like over a candlelit dinner and some wine, with someone that you know and have put forth the extra effort to look nice for. 

The problem that many people are overlooking in this article is not a man telling a woman she looks pretty, the problem is that a man thinks it's okay to approach an unknown woman whenever he wants and tell her she's pretty, without a thought of all the turmoil that just happened in her own head because of social constructs that are completely out of her control.

Just read the comments and get angry at the idiots.

Anyway, that was a short synopsis of my anger but that's because I want to write about something else that just infuriates me that is closely related to this issue. 

THE ISSUE OF WALKING ALONE AT NIGHT.

I have mace in my backpack. My dad offered me a rape whistle but I declined because I make sure I only walk down busy and well-lit roads to get home after dark. There's a road I never walk down alone because one time I was with my boyfriend, we saw a guy get mugged and it scared the shit out of me. Someone always knows if I'm in transit after dark. If I'm walking to my boyfriend's after dark, I insist he meets me halfway which is right about the point the traffic dies down and the streetlights are farther apart. I never look down at my phone for too many consecutive seconds because I don't want to look unaware. Up until recently, none of these things felt weird to me because that is how life has always been. Don't walk alone after dark. Stay in busy public areas if you must be out alone after dark. Have a way to protect yourself. Make sure someone always knows where you are. Be aware. Look aware. STOP.

Do I sound paranoid? Hell yeah I do. Is it warranted? Unfortunately, yes. Do any of these things cross the minds of men? Not unless they have a daughter/girlfriend/wife/sister, I'd have to guess.

We live in a world that is not safe, especially for women. 

Even during the goddamn day, I feel like I have to look like a mega-bitch ice-queen if I'm out walking around. I've made the mistake of trying to be nice and make the world a little friendlier by smiling, but one too many times have a been called "baby girl." I'm sorry, just because I smiled at you does not mean I want to fuck you. Ew. The idea that I feel like I am putting myself in a compromising situation in the middle of the day just because I smile is absurd and I know I'm not the only person in the world to feel this way.

One of the pet peeves I have developed is when people bring up a problem and don't offer a solution (probably a habit I picked up from the lovely Nicole Davenport). I have solutions. I have websites with 101 Solutions. LIST!

1) Read "101 Everyday Ways for Men to Be Allies to Women" 

2) Read "The Feminist Guide to Non-Creepy Flirting"

3) For a day, or even for a couple hours, think of how each one of your decisions might have to be different if you were a woman.

4) Follow the guidelines in numbers one and two.

In case anyone was wondering, I am still unemployed. Clearly.
As proof of the increased spare time I have, this blog now has a twitter: @cactikillerblog cheeeeeck it out

*EDIT: I guess technically this isn't 'published' so the title has been changed from MVF Published FR to MVF Posted FR.

I really enjoy frozen yogurt and I quit my job.

Well. Here we are. CURVEBALL I'm unemployed.

This is the first time ever in the history of Ashlee that I have not had a job since I started working for Rogan's in June of 2006. This is also the first time in (you guessed it) the history of Ashlee that I have my personal life under control and my career slightly askew. By slightly askew, I mean I really don't have much of a career right now. 

If the only thing you know about me is what I post on my blog, I'd imagine you're pretty confused right now, yeah? TIME FOR A LIST! 

The Two Reasons I Left My Liberal Hippy Job:

1. It is IMPOSSIBLE to work 80 hours a week and still maintain a normal life. There are some really amazing people who can put their lives on hold to do this job, and I am in awe of them. However, I am not one of those people. I'm 22 (Taylor Swift gets me and I don't care who knows it) and I just moved to Chicago. I want a cat. I would like to see my family more than maybe once a month when I only live an hour away from them via Metra. I would like to see my boyfriend AND my other friends without having to choose.

2. Some organizations focus on quantity over quality with employees. I don't agree with that, morally. That's all I will say on that front.

There is obviously a lot more that went into that decision but out of respect for Grassroots Campaigns and the people that still work their asses off there, that is all I will disclose.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE that I still believe Grassroots Campaigns was one of the best things that has happened to me. I met some of the most amazing and driven people that intend on being close friends with until the day I die. I said it before and I'll say it again, I would not have made it as far as I did had it not been for the amazing people that I worked with. 

Other Updates:

1) I live a 5 minute walk from Forever Yogurt. I really like Forever Yogurt. A lot. 

2) AmirKAT fixed all the problems. All it took was a strongly-worded letter written to him, the property owner, and the leasing company. Yup.

3) The boyfriend is still around. It's been a bit over 2 months. Look at us go! Except now he's on a camping trip and I'm slightly concerned for his life, but, you know, it'll be fine.

4) If anyone reading this blog thinks I'm great and has the ability to employ me and pay back my student loans, please for the love of god hire me. I promise I'm even more fun in person.

peaceloveyogurt.