Be Bossy.

So I was planning on taking the week off of my blog because a few things came up that I was preoccupied with but then this whole Ban Bossy (#BanBossy, remember no movement is complete without a hashtag) thing really started to take off and I have some feelings about it. Mostly, I don't like the concept of banning words. As someone who would like to make a living off of words I'd like to keep the ability to use all of them. What the Ban Bossy movement is trying to accomplish is awesome and no matter what we are making marvelous strides for young girls all over, but I think we could do it in much more positive terms.

[Warning: if you are under the age of 15 or if you are a parent of mine the following paragraph's language may upset you]

Augustana was the first place that I had ever heard of The Vagina Monologues. I never made it to an actual show because I'm sure I was sleeping, drinking, or working and also because I'm an unsupportive prick (omg puns for days but I won't). Either way, I was told about a part in the Vagina Monologues one year in which a character discusses the reclamation of the word 'cunt' and taking it back from the people (men) that made it a dirty word. She just says cunt over and over again to diminish the shock. If you hear someone say a word enough, it becomes normal. Little kids don't understand that a swear word can hold some level of power until they curse and everyone gasps. When you don't let a word offend you, the word loses its power. 

Another great example is the word 'queer.' The LGBTQ community snatched that bad boy right back up. Sure, there are places and people that still try to use queer as a derogatory term but the greatest thing happens when an ignorant bastard yells "Hey you're a queer!" and the recipient of that comment says, "I know." Amazing. Words are amazing! 

By banning the word bossy, we are giving the term so much more power than it ever needs to have! Let me present two scenarios.

Scenario 1 #BanBossy:

Little boy: Jane you're being so bossy!

Jane:  I am not! Don't call me that!

Little boy: Are to! Let me show everyone what to do!

Jane: (in fear of being called bossy) Okay........... [sad little girl face here]

Scenario 2 BE BOSSY:

Little boy: Jane you're being so bossy!

Jane: I know. 

Little boy: But I know better!

Jane: (with extreme confidence that bossy is okay) No, I've got this.

Okay so maybe those aren't perfect scenarios but you have to see my point.

GUYS. VOLDEMORT. HOW MUCH POWER DID LIVING IN FEAR OF A NAME GIVE THAT REPTILIAN SCUM? Am I the only one scared to ban and give power to dumb words? Honestly bossy isn't even that great of a word and should not have that much power ever. I would never BAN it, though. 

Dear little girls and women,

Be bossy! Do not feel ashamed when you are called bossy, you should feel empowered. That means you are confident. You know what you want and what needs to be done. That is an amazing accomplishment in itself. I am demanding that you be bossy because the future of AMERICA depends on it. Sorry, the future of the WORLD depends on it. I need to know we are raising little girls to fear nothing and teaching women that they are just as capable as the next person (man or woman) to be the greatest. Do not fear a word, instead use it to master a sharp tongue. 

Love, 

a very bossy lady.

Updates on stuff I care about:

1) Jason Collins was signed. YES. WAY TO GO, NBA.

2) George the cat is certifiably insane and catnip has no effect on him. 

3) Working at a 4am bar is the most fun.

4) I went on a really wonderful 37-hour long date (not consecutive technically because said person slept on the futon, MOM, but still). That's all I'm sharing because some things deserve to remain sacred. This has nothing to do with the fact that he may or may not read my blog.

I am not a chicken

I'm a few days behind but that's only because I've been working a lot and this is a good thing. It means I'm not nearly as broke as I once was. Hopefully I'll even have enough money to save up and also pay my loans so I can still kick around the idea of leaving Chicago because my car has been frozen in a puddle for the past two weeks. You know how people say "Only in Chicago" and it's not actually just a Chicago problem? Well this is actually a problem that I think can only happen in Chicago unless someone else can tell me a place where one day there is a deep puddle and the next it's a block of ice and this event did not include a water main break. Anyway, here the latest installment nowwwwwww..........

In case no one has noticed, I happen to be an LGBTQ ally. Honestly the only reason I still vote ever is to make sure I can bitch about not having LGBTQ-friendly folks in office or take personal victory in the fact that we do. I go on rants with very little instigation about human rights (being a feminist LGBTQ-supporter that is still very aware of the racism that STILL exists leaves a lot of space to rant about a lot of things).  Now, when I finish these rants I either enter in to a very stimulating conversation about human rights OR someone asks if I'm a "big ole lez." The quotes are there because THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. 

Asking me if I am a lesbian because I'm an LGBTQ ally is like asking me if I'm a chicken because I'm a vegetarian.

I would like to be clear in saying I am not repulsed or offended that I could be mistaken for a lesbian because honestly some of my favorite people are lesbians (or are females that at least identify in the LGBTQ realm) and I wish I was as awesome and self-assured as they are. 

Hey Maria. That's you.

Anyway, it is infuriating when this happens because for some reason a popular opinion is that LGBTQ rights don't affect straight people. Well, it does. It affects all of us. Do we really want another generation of hatred? Look at the generation before us, many of them raising children in two separate homes who can't remember when there wasn't a war going on while listening to rich white men discuss who can and can't get married, who can and can't control their bodies, who does and does not deserve federal aide, etc etc. I have more friends than not who have extremely fucked up backgrounds with all sorts of disorders that are very real because of this world we have grown up in. We are not the weakest generation, we are by far the strongest. Friendly reminder that the majority of Obama's campaign was focused on young people because when we know what we want, we get it. It's just the whole knowing what we want thing that's an issue sometimes.

I lost where I was originally going. Oops. Either way this affects all of us. IMAGINE if we were raised in a time where everything we did was actually based in love. By setting a standard that tolerates nothing less than allowing as much love in to the world as possible by going on these tangents, I'd like to think I'm changing the world in little ways every day. Ultimately, if I adopt (I'm not reproducing) children I'd like to not have to explain to them why it's okay Uncle Clayton (best friends get family titles) is married to a man and just have it be okay.