Annual End Of The Year Post

Hello.

I warned you guys at some point there would be a hiatus and it happened so you can't be mad at me! But I've pretty consistently written at the end of the year for the past couple years so I didn't want to miss out on that, duh.

Oh 2014 - you were almost as rough as 2013. Almost. I think the only reason this year didn't feel as bad is because 2013 put me in such a weird emotional place. The difference between the two is that this year had gains that, for me, overcame the losses (and the scares). Last year, the losses felt so devastating because what I had gained did not measure up. 

But enough about last year. I just want to tell you guys all the things I've learned from 2014. 

1. People show up and people leave your life, and you will never have control over that. 

2. Old romantic interests will show up in patterns, just to "check-in." Ew. I'm still not bored of my boyfriend, and I never will be. Buzz off. 

3. Talk about your feelings. Talk talk talk.

4. If you have snapchat, someone will inevitably send you a dirty picture you did not request. On Super Bowl Sunday. You know who you are. 

5. Just delete snapchat. 

6. People do pay writers sometimes, but it's cooler when bands give you free shit for writing about them.

7. The DIY/punk music scene is cool, but also confused.

8. Adult friendships are the weirdest.

9. George the cat can melt anyone's heart. 

10. Most of the cheesy things old people say about love are true. You just know. And love happens exactly when you're not expecting it.

11. Too many people don't understand how devastating the patriarchy is to women, still. Literally as I'm typing this an old man came up to me and told me to put on more clothes because it's too cold to show off my pretty tattoo. 

12. Too many people still think that depression is just "being sad" and that mental illnesses are easily overcome. 

Ugh there are so many other things but I'm going to leave it at 12. The most important things I've learned this year. 

This year I gained a Danny and a George, and found that I could love a boy (Danny) and a cat (George) more than I ever thought possible. And George and Danny love each other. And it's all WONDERFUL. Okay moving on from the mush.

In other news, I finally went through my Facebook and unliked a bunch of pages from high school. Here are some highlights:

People:

Dane Cook

Brian Urlacher

Devin Hester

Johnny Knox (cries)

Matt Forte

Music:

TK Proposal (I don't even remember what this was)

Free Food (not actual free food, this was a Ska band from MHS)

Chicago's Alternative (weird AM channel I’ve never heard of)

Staind

Rev Theory

Flyleaf

Shinedown

Stone Sour

Shinedown

Hollywood Undead

Audioslave

Television:

Tough Love

Dexter

Say Yes To The Dress

VH1’s Tough Love (LOL again)

Weird online communities:

Keep Q101 Chicago's ONLY Alternative Rock Station (we won)

Musicians are so much sexier than normal people. FACT.

My First Or Last Name Will Constantly Be Spelled Or Pronounced Wrong

"They're", "Their", and "There" have 3 distinct meanings. Learn Them.

"Stupid questions deserve sarcastic answers."

I blame disney for my high expectations of men

FREAKIN WOW! STOP FREAKIN BETRAYING ME!

High School Ashlee was so embarrassing. Sorry everyone, especially Chris Johnson. 

The end. I love you all (unless you're a creep). Bye. 

"Hanging out" usually means "You get to wear clothes that aren't for work or bed!"

Adult friendships are weird. I'm starting to realize this the longer I function as an 'adult.' I'm sure I'm not the first person to point out some parts of adult friendship that make it markedly different from college/high school/junior high/elementary school friendships but I'm just going to do it anyway. It's going to be a goddamn list because I like making lists and I'm not just making it for the ease of the reader and to get more page views or whatever so screw you buzzfeed my conscience is CLEAR.

 1) You don't see your friends all the time.

In our school-age years, it was fairly likely that you would see all of your friends every day at school, and if you had a friend that moved away you wrote letters/emails. At some point you give up because without cars you're never going to see her again anyway, not that I speak from personal experience (sorry Allison). ANYWAY, I don't see my friends daily unless they are the ones I live with, and honestly I can go a couple days without seeing some of my roommates because we all have weird hourly jobs. It's hard to stay in touch that way and sometimes catching up with their lives on Facebook just feels so damn empty. You end up with more acquaintances than friends because it takes a lot of time to maintain communication with people you deeply care about. 

2) "Hanging out" usually means "spend money with me"

Whether it's gas money, bus fare, or the cup of coffee you discuss your lives over, seeing your friends will cost money. It just happens. No one goes to someone's house just to hang out unless he or she one of your best friends (and you have like 1.5 of those because you're an adult) or there is a party happening.

3) "Hanging out" usually means "You get to wear clothes that aren't for work or bed!"

When I do see my friends, I try really hard to not look like shit. I try to wear all the clothes I bought in college. That's it. That's all for this point.

4) There are people that you will meet 27 times and they still won't know your face.

At least in high school you and the popular kids would avoid each other in Target because you both recognized each other. As an adult, I have met countless (mostly male) people that cannot comprehend I have been dating their friend for 6 months and we've met at approximately 9 different parties (3 of which happened prior to the relationship). Every then he's like "Oh so nice to meet you, I'm sure I'll see you around" when you're leaving and it's just, ugh. Forget my name, fine, but holy shit can you remember a face? At this point I've just started telling people point-blank that we've met before and they forgot I existed. It's a lot more enjoyable than the petty small talk that's happened a zillion times before.

5) Parties happen because everyone is actually lazy.

Parties happen because people like to go see all their friends, but making one on one plans with everyone is exhausting. I've can say from personal experience that I have made up reasons to throw a party just because I haven't seen people in a long time and I just don't have the drive to make plans with them. That doesn't make me a terrible person, though, because people are coming to that party because they don't have the motivation to schedule a coffee chat or whatever with the friends they'll see there. Have you ever noticed that no one has two successful parties in two weeks unless it's at a frat house?

6) Adult friendships exist for the big moments, good and bad.

As adults, we have our roommates and/or our significant others to share the little thoughts we have or minor things that happen throughout the day. If something happens that I think a friend will genuinely appreciate hearing about, I'll tell them. Otherwise, my daily events are reserved for my very patient boyfriend and/or roommates. I share the big moments with these guys too, but they fill in the daily spaces. Adult friends have as much time (or less) in the day that you do, so if they aren't inundating you with their daily meanderings they don't have time to deal with yours. These friends are here for the "I started my new job!/I just got dumped/I just quit my job/I'm moving in with my boyfriend!" phone calls and text messages. 

That might be a very compartmentalized way to view friendships, but aside from your soulmate best friends you have to admit it's pretty accurate, right? Whatever it's my blog all 12 of you readers can shove it if you have a problem.

LIFE UPDATE

• I quit Mana. 
• I'm back at Drybar on Fridays and Saturdays (which means Sundays off!). 
• I still work at The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. 
• I'm going to Pittsburgh for the first time this weekend. 
• I'm writing music reviews weekly for funeralsounds.com, so clearly that attempt at a music review went pretty well. 
• A piece of my writing was published by The Note To Self Project, started by The Ally Coalition and Stay Here With Me which are both incredible organizations. You can find that here. 
• I performed said piece at the very first show Roscoe Flatts has ever put on. 
• My roommates and I started a house venue, called Roscoe Flatts. 

Shooting for the stars here, guys. Or according to Facebook Roscoe Flatts is just shooting for 100 likes. Whatever.

I'm running out of things to complain about.

Hello friends. A bunch of cool things have happened recently: I moved in with my boyfriend, George is making new friends, I submitted a poetry manuscript, I submitted an attempt at a music review, I was mentioned as an 'inspiration' of sorts, and I started a new job.

It's been crazy and busy and I'm still not fully unpacked, but life is so much better now that I get to come home to a house to both my boyfriend and some of my lovely friends. I now live in a house with 9 other people and it's almost like a college flashback. At any time I could go sit in our backyard (YUP backyard in the city, Roscoe Village luxury) and within 20 minutes I'll see someone and be able to have a real conversation without having to plan a time to get coffee/lunch/dinner/brunch/drinks or spend any money. George the cat has a couple lady cat companions now and, although we're slowly getting everyone comfortable with each other, I think he is much happier. Also compared to my much smaller two-bedroom apartment, this place is a castle for a cat. Stairs and random passageways and sometimes outside time is all George could have dreamed of. I have a happy cat and a happy heart (and also a happy bank account, splitting rent with your SO is kind of the greatest). It definitely helps to live with your number one fan (am I talking about Danny or George? I'LL NEVER TELL) (just kidding I meant Danny).

Within the past week, I've submitted my poetry manuscript to a chapbook contest, and the chances of me winning are super slim but at least I have a manuscript... right? I'm terrified but I'll let you guys know the outcome of course. And then right after that, I was all jacked up on adrenaline and motivation that I looked into some music reviewing outlets for a potential resume builder and then I emailed that guy and sent him a trial review and I'm waiting to hear back as well. To round out my creative rockstar week, the lovely and talented Maria Sych started a blog (millenialtrash.blogspot.com) and mentioned that I was kind of one of the reasons she started her blog. I don't even care if I was .0001% of a reason, I was mentioned and it made my whole damn day. 

Oh yeah, and then I started a new part-time job. I'm still at Mana so I did not have a complete career shift, I just work morning and night now. I'm working for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, essentially working with schools to get them to run fundraisers. More or less, I'm back fundraising for a non-profit, except this time I get to sit in a chair and call teachers instead of standing on the street greeting angry strangers. 

Life is cool. 

The only thing I have left to complain about now is the inability to have one singular job that provides intrinsic fulfillment and/or weekends off.

This is why we need feminism.

Yesterday, I was driving a U-Haul (see below for explanation). This thing was much larger than I was anticipating. You see, I rented a 10 foot truck. Naturally, they did not have a 10' truck available when I reserved it 3 days in advance. So to make up for that they gave me a bigger truck (14') for the same price. In theory, this was pretty cool. But when you're driving through Chicago on the Friday of Labor Day weekend at 3pm that extra 4' is the worst thing in the whole world.

Long story short, I hit another moving truck's mirror with my giant mirror. He shouldn't have parked like such a dickhole, U-Haul should have had the right goddamn truck for me, and I should have been a little more careful. I soon learned that the man parked like a dickhole because he is one.

By this point, Danny (that one guy commonly known as my boyfriend) is outside and this frantic man comes up yelling, "HOW YOU DRIVE, HOW YOU NO SEE? YOU NOT SEE?! I CALL POLICE!"  and I kindly tell him that won't be necessary because it's a mirror. Note: If I had been alone, I would have let him call the police. He ignores me and defers to Danny.  Only then, does he listen. I let it go because he's frantic and foreign and is afraid of being screwed over or fired because it is a company truck. 

So he's calm(ish) and we've talked him out of calling the police. He calls his boss and he hands the phone to Danny and demands Danny speaks with Sam (presumably his boss). Now I'm just annoyed with this idiot because he is being an idiot. I'm shaky but I'm not being a bitch (yet). I am still in the truck, in the driver's seat, so I kindly remind him that I was driving the truck so he should hand the phone to me next time. 

So we find that Sam is really cool and I tell Danny to let him know I can give him cash for the repairs and give him my information if anything costs more. With the way Dickhole is acting, you would think that I broke his whole door off. I stay in the truck far away from Dickhole because I can't deal with him without flipping out. Danny goes to investigate the damage. We find that the only damage is cracked glass. CRACKED MIRROR GLASS. This man is about to have an aneurysm over cracked glass. So immediately I start thinking that maybe he doesn't have the right/any insurance or citizenship so he thinks he's going to lose his job. Anyone that freaks out like that must have bigger problems. 

My parents arrive to help move and I explain to them why there is a psycho pacing around and why Danny is on the phone with a stranger etc etc. My mom walks up first and he looks at her. My dad is shortly behind. He shakes my dad's hand. NOTE: He does not shake my mom's hand. 

OHHH OKAY SO THAT'S WHY YOU WON'T TALK TO ME. BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN. CONFIRMED. OKAY DICKHOLE GAME ON.

He continues to hand the phone to Danny to speak with Sam every time he doesn't understand what we're telling him. To an extent, it's a language barrier. But to a greater extent he is not trying. When someone tells you one thing and you pull your phone out and yell TALK TO SAM, you've given up. I call U-Haul (no damage to the U-Haul truck) to get the information for Dickhole to make a claim. The whole time, he keeps looking at me while I'm on hold and asking Danny what I'm doing. I tried to tell him and he talks over me to ask Danny. 

I'M RIGHT HERE TRYING TO TELL YOU, SIR. 

Finally I get all the information for this sub-human chauvinist and I am tired of speaking through a translator, because apparently Dickhole can't speak to women. I get out of the truck and try to talk to him. This time, he calls Sam and I extend my hand to take his phone before he can offer to let someone take it. I speak with Sam. Sam tells me to give all the information to his driver. 

This is the moment I am most proud of: "I am trying to do that but he seems incapable."

AND THEN DICKHOLE DOESN'T EVEN HEAR ME BECAUSE HE'S NOT LISTENING.

So it is sorted out. Dickhole leaves, but not before shaking Danny's hand and my dad's. 

...................

You guys, I'm not saying I didn't mess up. I did. The issue here that I'm trying to point out is how this man is perpetuating awful societal norms. At one point, he even looked at Danny and said "How she not see?" and laughed. Like he's his friend or some shit.

Can we take a minute to see how this situation would have played out had Danny not been there? This man very aggressively approached me and had zero regard for anything I was trying to tell him. He was going to call the police for cracked glass. The second he walked up he was intending to threaten me. When he saw Danny he changed his stature, but when he spoke to me he was still aggressive. I am a 23-year-old female. He is a 40-something male. The fact that he felt safer than he did after I damaged his property is not okay. The fact that my first instinct was to lock my door and stay in the truck is problematic. He did not give my mother or me a single ounce of respect. I understand he was mad at me, but I was certain this stemmed far deeper than a cracked mirror when he treated my mother the exact same way he treated me: incapable, stupid, a joke.

How do you think his wife views herself? Imagine he has a daughter, how do you think he views her?How do you think he'll raise her to think of herself? And when any male treats her like that, it will seem okay because that's what a male is to her. And the idea of him having sons is even more terrifying, because he is raising the next generation of men that will think of women as nothing but mindless decorations, helpless and dumb. NOTE: I understand that I assume he is straight and married, but based on his behavior and the way he treated other males as the authority, he left me no other option. 

IMAGINE: a strong young female, unknown to him, makes a mistake and he makes sure there is no way she could feel like that situation would have been diffused had she been alone. Imagine he made this woman feel that she was unsafe in the middle of the day in one of the largest cities in the country, in the world. Imagine he spends his days like this, making women he has never met and will never see again feel weak and helpless. He is not the only man doing this. There are too many.

And after everything, a car drove past while everyone was loading the moving truck. My back was to them, they honked and I turned to look, hoping it was a friend. They smiled, waved, hollered. It was a group of men. I am in one of the largest cities in America, in the middle of the day, constantly reminded that I am never safe.

Feminism is not about belittling men. It is about allowing women to feel secure in the same situations that men feel secure. In their work, in their homes, on the streets, in cars, on sidewalks.

This is why we need feminism.

10 Life Lessons after 14 Months in Chicago

It's been just over a month. Here's a list of things I have learned from Chicago and my Chicago loves in the past 14 months* of being a true Chicagoan.

*non-consecutive, sorry October 2013.

1. Ride a bike.

I save $30 a week because I started riding my bike. There's no need for public transit on a daily basis, and when you do have to travel a significant amount you have a little extra money for a cab OR just take public trans. However, when owning a bike in Chicago you should have two locks, one for your front tire (cable lock suggested) and one for the frame of your bike (indestructible u-lock suggested).

2. Pets are important to your well-being.

I don't care who you are, having a creature that is always undeniably pleased you are home does wonders for your self-worth. I was in quite a funk right before I craigslisted George the cat back in February and having him around changed things in ways I can't explain. I know that even though my boyfriend (yup, that same guy from the 37-hour date-a-thon) is terribly allergic to George, he secretly enjoys being greeted by the little creature when he comes over.

3. Your shitty job is nothing to be ashamed of.

Most of my friends are artists. Most of my friends get $0 for their art. Most of my friends (myself included) have jobs that are not exactly their passion but we all have bills to pay and loans to weep over. As long as your job allows you the time to pursue your passions, you should not feel ashamed. I have to give myself a pep-talk every time a patron at work asks, "So do you go to school or...." like where I am right now in life is just not good enough for them. This is a hard lesson to learn and I frequently forget it.

4. Dive bars are the best thing.

$4 well vodka cranberry? $2.50 for PBR? This stool is kind of sticky but sign me up!

5. Dive bars are the worst thing after 2am.

$4 well vodka cranberry? $2.50 for PBR? This stool is kind of sticky but I think I'll rest my head here anyway.

6. Surround yourself with positive people.

This is not an original idea but it is something I actually have grown to appreciate. The people I am surrounded with in Chicago are absolutely amazing. When a basement floods and you can laugh in disbelief with the people cleaning it, you know you have some great company. I have a hard time staying positive, and I know that sometimes my friends do as well, but as long as you have a few people that can build you back up life will be okay. 

7. Chicago will try to kill you.

Literally. Attempted hypothermia. Attempted drowning. Attempted heat-stroke. Attempted electrocution. Attempted tornado. If you read the news at all, Chicago has been recently nationally recognized for all the gun violence. The weather is insane. A good amount of the people are insane. This leads me to my next point....

8. You will love this city because of how much you hate it.

It's really an unhealthy relationship. I'm prepared to move from Chicago sometime in the next year because it's exhausting, but I know I'll miss it like crazy and always claim to be from Chicago.

9. The people that make the biggest impact on your life rarely realize it. 

I gave Chicago a second chance after my month long hiatus in the suburbs because of something one of my friends doesn't even remember saying while he was piss drunk. I was telling him that I was just barely getting by in the city and I wanted to get out. He told me (paraphrasing here) that everyone is just barely getting by, but we're all just getting by together and that's the beauty of the thing.

10. Everything is about your attitude.

I can have a pretty piss-poor attitude at times and that's lead to some nasty days. Life is hard and sometimes it's okay to be cranky. A positive attitude is easy if you try to keep with lesson #6. Waking up and telling yourself that this day will be a good day is the most important thing you can do. 

Katy Perry Broke My Heart.

For those of you that have always followed my blog(s), you know that I have had a strong relationship with Katy Perry for quite some time. She's always there for my breakups and for drunk anthems and empowering songs about straining vocal chords, but lately I've been noticing some major flaws that are really pulling us apart. 

1) "Ur So Gay"

When I was a silly little sophomore in college, I came across this Katy Perry song and I thought it was hilarious. After dealing with one very tumultuous relationship, I fell in love with this man-hating angry rant. As most pop songs do, this one faded from my recently played lists and others songs surpassed it. Enter my spoken word love affair, namely that with Sierra DeMulder. As I combed through her droves of youtube videos I found one named "Katy Perry" and in that poem Sierra destroyed that song. Everyone should watch it after looking up the lyrics to "Ur So Gay" so here's the link. Basically the entire song is an attempt to destroy an ex-boyfriend while picking apart everything he did that was 'feminine' and not 'masculine.' GROAN. She even goes as far as telling said ex to hang himself with his H&M scarf. Come on, girl. You're supposed to be a champion of gay rights.

2) Geisha Dress-Up

At the 2013 American Music Awards Katy Perry opened the show with a performance of "Unconditionally" that was complete with 'geishas' surrounded with cherry blossoms and all sorts of Western manipulated traditional Japanese figures. I will fully admit that at first I was in awe of the spectacle because it was beautifully orchestrated (Katy's voice less impressive, ugh) but the more accusations that arose about this particular performance being inherently racist the more I agreed. I haven't really done my research here but I HIGHLY DOUBT that this homage to Japanese culture was deeply researched to make sure the performance was respectful. Katy Perry just pressed her palms together a lot and swung an umbrella around in a gown with verrrrry long slits up the side. Hm. At least she wasn't wearing heels too, right? I just feel like when dealing with cultures that have existed for thousands of years one should probably not fuck around and make it pretty to some pop music soundtrack. Maybe.

3) Feminism.

Katy what does feminism mean? "It just means that I love myself as a female, and I also love men."

You know, she's trying. But NO. What the fuck? That statement lends itself as an example of so many societal issues ahhh. Why is that a qualifier to your feminism, Katy? I know that you kissed a girl and you liked it but you don't need to reaffirm your heterosexuality for us all the time. My anger is not because Katy Perry did stand on the rooftop and proclaim to all the world that she is indeed a feminist. I am angry because as a prominent female figure Katy Perry did not take the time to understand what feminism is, what it means to her, what it really means in the world.

4) There are so many other things. The obvious caricatures of black women (most recently) and that goddamn music video with her now-ex John Mayer. What was that? Ick. And don't even get me started on her "Birthday" music video. She made small children cry, marginalized the Jewish community, dressed up as an old woman and pretended to collapse in front of a bunch of elderly people, and pretended to be a drunk clown at a party in some park. Oh, she also dressed up like a pretty princess and that was the only time she showed her face in costume--when she was dressed like a fking PRINCESS.

I know, you'll all tell me Katy Perry is just a pop star and I can't expect so much from her. The truth is, I'm learning not to. So many women are making breakthroughs in the music biz and so many strong female role models are developing that if Katy Perry continues on this path she will quickly become obsolete. I just wanted to get all of the guilt I have been harboring about being a Katy Perry fan off my chest.

Katy, our love affair must come to an end. You have helped me through many hard times and some of those songs will always be special. However, I cannot stand by and watch you destroy yourself with every interview and every act. Ignorance is not a good look on anyone.

Excuse me while I go drink my tea and figure out if Sierra DeMulder has a fan club orrr what.

This Blog Isn't Dead, But...

Hey guys.

I'm sorry I haven't been here.
I could lie and say I've been super busy with my crazy cool changing life, but, as previously stated, that would be a lie.

Usually when I take a long writing break from the blog it's because my life has turned into an abyss of cluster-fuckery that I can't even begin to handle in real life, let alone write about. This is also not the case.

The honest-to-goodness truth is that right now I am the happiest I've been in a very long time. Naturally, this lends the question, "Why are you so happy?" and of course I'm going to list them for you. AHEM.

Try to deny this.

1) George the cat. Although he is the biggest shithead on the face of the planet, he's creepy sometimes (I'm just going to drag my cat carrier out of your room into the dark hallway and then stare at you from behind the cat carrier. UM. Creep), his shit stinks up the whole apartment, and he has broken many things I cherish, he is always there to greet me when I come home. I sound like a crazy cat lady and I don't care. He's there every morning to wake me up and is (usually) ready to go to bed when I am. Sometimes you just need another creature to depend on you and love you unconditionally.

2) I have a job that I like. I've had it for a bit now, and I've been working my ass off to be great at it. It's just a serving job but it's the nicest one I've ever had. For the first time since living in Chicago, I am fairly confident I will only need one job to survive in this city. I'm staying one more year, guys. Then I PROMISE I'm leaving Illinois.

3) This boyfriend. I won't gush because that's annoying but holy shit I think this is what Katy Perry writes songs about. I might be single after he reads this though (JKJKJK).

4) I made a tumblr dedicated strictly to my creative writing. This, by far, was the best thing to come out of my dating strike. I had this awesome realization that I want my passion to be my career. I want to write, folks! I don't care if it means I'm a server for the next 20 years (but I'm opening my bar in 14 soooo that won't happen anyway) as long as I have the time to live and gather stories and be young for as long as my spirit will let me. 

I just wanted to post on here and inform everyone who reads a lot that I probably won't be posting on here as frequently as I was. I really want to throw myself into creative writing. The chances of me ever putting this link up on facebook is pretty slim, but I want to provide it to anyone that actually reads and enjoys my writing. 

Thanks for reading my blog, friends. I promise I will still update here! For those of you that want new things from me, visit thepoortrend.tumblr.com xoxo

Stable George. Stable Ted.

GUYS so many things have been happening and my writing is suffering because of it. The good news is that these are all ultimately good things that will have essentially set me on the path to doing exactly what I want to do. 

I haven't written a blog based around a list in a bit so here we go... Beware of the HIMYM spoiler. There will be another warning.

1) Remember that 37-hour date? Boyfriend. BOOM. He just happens to reside in a neighboring state so LDR (that's internet for long distance relationship) here we go. I highly suggest dating strikes for everyone because you might get your life straight(ish) and you might realize you deserve more than what you've settled for and you might stumble across a supportive and like-minded individual that wants all of your dreams, no matter how crazy, to come true. Maybe. I've heard it works like that for some people. 

2) I started working at a vegetarian restaurant in Chicago. It is hard work but once I memorize the entire menu, it will be so awesome. I'm even learning to be a bartender there so dreams are starting to form. I suppose you can't successfully own a bar if you've never been a bartender before.

3) I no longer work at Drybar. If that company doesn't start listening to its shop employees, they will be doomed. There's nothing like starting to work for a company that won't stop talking about family values only to find that between the shop manager and company founder levels there is a severe disconnect. This is FATAL. I might only be 23 years old but I'm not stupid.

4) I decided I wanted to be a flight attendant and I was invited to North Carolina to interview for said position. Sparing the annoying details, I was not offered a position. I have decided this is a good thing. Now, I won't be participating in 4 1/2 weeks of unpaid training, I won't have to relocate and pay two rents with no income, I won't have to find a temporary new home for George, I can get a new tattoo, I can focus on my writing, etc. My heel (shoe) snapped on the way to my interview anyway, so that should have been a sign right there to just call it a day and go home. 

5) HIMYM SPOILER. Ted Moseby & Robin Scherbatsky forever. I was upset at first but then I remembered THIS IS WHAT I HAVE WANTED THE WHOLE TIME. He found her the fucking necklace, guys. He sat with her in the rain. One of Ted Moseby's greatest monologues was inspired by the one and only ROBIN SCHERBATSKY. If you don't click on that link we are not friends anymore. Anyway, this ending reiterates my ideology that we don't have just one soulmate, we have quite a few. Also to the ex-boyfriend that got me hooked on the show but always hated Ted and Robin together, TAKE THAT. So pleased. So many feelings. This finale was as big of a deal to me as the Harry Potter ending. Hopefully the writers of Harry Potter won't pop up years later and claim they made a mistake, because (like JK) they did not. 

6) Odd numbers, gross. Although recently it was brought to my attention that I'm a giant weirdo because I hate having an even-numbered amount of ice cubes in my beverages.

So, here we are. Stable job. Stable boyfriend (so far). Stable George. Stable Ted.

Be Bossy.

So I was planning on taking the week off of my blog because a few things came up that I was preoccupied with but then this whole Ban Bossy (#BanBossy, remember no movement is complete without a hashtag) thing really started to take off and I have some feelings about it. Mostly, I don't like the concept of banning words. As someone who would like to make a living off of words I'd like to keep the ability to use all of them. What the Ban Bossy movement is trying to accomplish is awesome and no matter what we are making marvelous strides for young girls all over, but I think we could do it in much more positive terms.

[Warning: if you are under the age of 15 or if you are a parent of mine the following paragraph's language may upset you]

Augustana was the first place that I had ever heard of The Vagina Monologues. I never made it to an actual show because I'm sure I was sleeping, drinking, or working and also because I'm an unsupportive prick (omg puns for days but I won't). Either way, I was told about a part in the Vagina Monologues one year in which a character discusses the reclamation of the word 'cunt' and taking it back from the people (men) that made it a dirty word. She just says cunt over and over again to diminish the shock. If you hear someone say a word enough, it becomes normal. Little kids don't understand that a swear word can hold some level of power until they curse and everyone gasps. When you don't let a word offend you, the word loses its power. 

Another great example is the word 'queer.' The LGBTQ community snatched that bad boy right back up. Sure, there are places and people that still try to use queer as a derogatory term but the greatest thing happens when an ignorant bastard yells "Hey you're a queer!" and the recipient of that comment says, "I know." Amazing. Words are amazing! 

By banning the word bossy, we are giving the term so much more power than it ever needs to have! Let me present two scenarios.

Scenario 1 #BanBossy:

Little boy: Jane you're being so bossy!

Jane:  I am not! Don't call me that!

Little boy: Are to! Let me show everyone what to do!

Jane: (in fear of being called bossy) Okay........... [sad little girl face here]

Scenario 2 BE BOSSY:

Little boy: Jane you're being so bossy!

Jane: I know. 

Little boy: But I know better!

Jane: (with extreme confidence that bossy is okay) No, I've got this.

Okay so maybe those aren't perfect scenarios but you have to see my point.

GUYS. VOLDEMORT. HOW MUCH POWER DID LIVING IN FEAR OF A NAME GIVE THAT REPTILIAN SCUM? Am I the only one scared to ban and give power to dumb words? Honestly bossy isn't even that great of a word and should not have that much power ever. I would never BAN it, though. 

Dear little girls and women,

Be bossy! Do not feel ashamed when you are called bossy, you should feel empowered. That means you are confident. You know what you want and what needs to be done. That is an amazing accomplishment in itself. I am demanding that you be bossy because the future of AMERICA depends on it. Sorry, the future of the WORLD depends on it. I need to know we are raising little girls to fear nothing and teaching women that they are just as capable as the next person (man or woman) to be the greatest. Do not fear a word, instead use it to master a sharp tongue. 

Love, 

a very bossy lady.

Updates on stuff I care about:

1) Jason Collins was signed. YES. WAY TO GO, NBA.

2) George the cat is certifiably insane and catnip has no effect on him. 

3) Working at a 4am bar is the most fun.

4) I went on a really wonderful 37-hour long date (not consecutive technically because said person slept on the futon, MOM, but still). That's all I'm sharing because some things deserve to remain sacred. This has nothing to do with the fact that he may or may not read my blog.