Good Things About Bronchitis

I’ve never had bronchitis before. Actually, I haven’t had to go to a doctor for an illness since I was in high school. At least five years ago. AT LEAST. So yesterday when I realized that 1) I was too ill to work and 2) too ill to drive home for Christmas, I decided that maybe it was time to go to the Urgent Care center.

Bronchitis is not fun. Being sick is not fun. But I made a list of the upsides of being sick, in a house by yourself (or with one of your wonderful roommates), for at least two days. I really like lists.

1. The only person to care what you look like is you. Unless you smell, then your roommate might care a little. But she’s not trying to bone you, and you can always put on another layer of blankets or a sweatshirt. Smell be gone!
2. There is an excuse to sit and watch the whole first season of any show—maybe The Mindy Project. By the way, that show is absolutely hysterical, ammmiright Robin? Psst—that’s my roommate, let’s see if she reads this.
3. Guilt free endless consumption of chai tea lattes and hot chocolate. And in some cases, guilt free consumption of chai chocolate lattes (literally the greatest thing I have ever created).
4. NAPS FOR HOURS ON END. I was prescribed codeine, and let me tell you, two teaspoons of that stuff put me out like a light. When I wasn’t watching The Voice (thanks, HuluPlus, for more shows to kill time with), I was comfortably passed out in my bed in some of the most restful sleep I have gotten in weeks.
5. You can make a nest for yourself. I set up shop on one end of the couch, made sure I had my computer, charger, phone, and phone charger, halls cough drops, my medicine, food, hot chocolate, space heater, blanket, etc. and did not move unless I needed more chai or hot chocolate. Or had to pee.
6. This always happens. I make lists. I never have enough to make an even number. So there is always this awkward last subject on the list that means nothing. 

Douchebag of the Week: The Coughing Douchebag 

This is the guy (or girl) that shows up to class or work sick as hell with a cough that sounds like it has the potential to infect everyone with some unknown disease that could potentially turn everyone into a zombie. I know, he or she is a responsible student. Having bronchitis, I’m aware the only way to stop those treacherous coughing fits is to take a prescribed amount of a strong narcotic and pass the fuck out. But dear lord jesus, please spare us all from the mutating virus that is spewing from your disease-laden facial orifice and TAKE A DAY OFF. Douchebag. 

Endings and Beginnings

Endings are always helpful when you need somewhere to begin. I promise I'm not going to get philosophical here, I'm just saying it's kind of true. This blog is beginning because my other one is ending. So long to the angry rants of a young college female attempting to navigate her way through the murky testosterone injected depths of intense, internet sanctioned, control freak heaven and hell. 

I'll let you linger on that one for a second. Think about it. I'm referring to fantasy football. Does it make more sense now? Yeah? Maaaaybe? Ok PERFECT moving on.

There are few things to explain, I think. And I'm a fan of lists. Heeere we go. 

1) The title

So I live with this great group of girls and we say a lot of... interesting things. Usually on accident. We have deemed our house 'The Castle' because each of us has taken on the alter ego of a Disney Princess. I'm Meg. From Hercules. Don't EVEN tell me she's not a 'real princess' because I will deck you. 

Any who, we have a quote board titled The Storybook. On The Storybook there are many different questionable things we have said which will make any upstanding citizen question both our sexualities and morals. Sorry Mom and Dad. The title comes from a quote by my roommate, Beth. She was trying to make me feel better because I struggle to remember to water my only plant in the house (his name is John Butler). I still don't know which roommate is watering John all the time, but we appreciate it. SO that quote is probably the least raciest and the one that makes me laugh every time. 

2) The format

Time out: Everyone should stop right now and look up the band The Format. I will have a whole post dedicated to them at some point, so I will withhold my rant until then. 

Ok. So for those of you who have followed me over here from Fantasy Football Adventure, the format is going to be a little different. On my old blog I have

big huge words

all over the place

in lots of colors.

Not the case here. This time I want the words to be important. If you're not into reading a lot of words, this is not the blog for you. If you enjoy reading words that are mildly entertaining, with an occasional impressive one-liner, please stay and make yourself cozy. 

3) The URL

www.reallifepreparations.blogspot.com >> Because after winter break, I have 5 short weeks left of college and then I have to put my big girl pants on. 

I DON'T WANNNAAAAA.

4) I don't like odd numbers.

I really didn't want to end that list on an odd number. They make me uncomfortable in list form. 

That concludes the list.

Douchebag of the Week

I've decided that at the end of every post I'm going to describe a certain breed of douchebag. There are so many different kinds that I don't even know what the original douchebag was. But for this week I'm going to direct you to a whole post I wrote about douchefratmanchildren here.

So here it is. The first official post on It's Alright, I Killed a Cactus Once. Shout outs to Beth and the rest of The Castle. Mom. Dad. 

The end.

Upcoming Attractions:

Homophobia

TAC

Cool Beanz

The Format

Fun.

Chai Tea Lattes 

Augustana

Spotify

Being a waitress

Hot chocolate

Starbucks

Plethora of Douchebags